You and I

What happens when you know that you are an exception. That your life is going to be different than others how hard you try. You try to act normal, you try to be very common, typical like everybody else. But it is not for you.
What happens when you know that there are no good things for you in the future, that you have to live your life with others questioning you, crying over you, cursing you. Questioning your being there, how would it feel? Your each action in the past would be analyzed, your every breath will be scrutinized, that each movement of your breast will be frowned upon.
What happens when you know that all of these people whom you call your relatives, friends.. family are going to be hating, questioning and for sure far away from you. That no one is going to be around you.
That you are going to be alone, remembering past, thinking what if it has not gone so weird? What if you were normal, that your every action was basically a truth that you are what you are and not a lie. That each of your thought was your true thought and had no shadow over it. That even when you lie you were being true to yourself. That every decision you took was true, that you were faking. That every breath you took was of freedom, freedom of your identity, such that even when you are not known to other people, they know you: what you are, how do you feel, that they accept about what you feel, that you are not undefined.
What it feels like when first thought comes to you when you wake up is that ohh it is still there, you are not right. That you are not going to be right forever and you can not help it. You think that the killers, criminals all of them when they commit any crime, they are there, their identity is there. They've experience what is life, that they have future and they don't expect void.
What happens when you can not even term yourself as I and you term it as you?